feeling what?

i dont know what i feel anymore, i hvaent posted in a while. that is because the final year is here, and it is that time of the year whenall of us are busy with our college applications. day after is the deadline, for all ucs. i am scared, he is there. i am travelling 7 seas just to be with him, nothing else. leaving it all behind, will he ever accept me? will he ever love me back? i dont think he can ever feel what he once felt for me but me being me i still feel exactly the same, ok maybe not exactly i just love him more now than i did then. 

I remember

I remember that day. I remember it all too clearly, you left. You left me, you left my life and then finally you broke me. Deprived me of sleep for days, made me cry every night. I got lost. I have been lost ever since. I am trying so hard to forget you, to find myself but I fail daily. I remember how I howled that day, I remember how I picked up that blade. I remember the red dripped from my arm. I remember the unwanted feeling, I remember the moist cheeks, I remember wanting to die. I remember it all too clearly.